Thursday, July 8, 2010

Double Tall, Sugar Free, Vanilla Soy... Truth Serum?

This week sucks. Maybe its a huge pity party (seating for one) but I just feel like my wheels are spinning. Ever have those days?

Physically I feel fine, although I've not gone to the gym once this week and I'm letting my healthy gym food turn in my fridge as I type, emotionally ok, spiritually...check. If I had to pin point it I'd guess I'm just feeling tired mentally and that would be b/c of the constant guessing, wondering, hoping, etc.

I count down the days until the newsletter lands in my inbox, my stomach jumps whenever my phone rings, & most of all I curse the companies that send me spam emails for making me think for a brief second while my iPhone loads that it might be our agency writing to say that we should expect a call about a referral. Seriously, does that even happen?! I don't think so.

We're creeping up on week 17. I know, I know. Week 17.

Maybe its this crazy heat wave. I have nightmares of our file being read over and then moved to the side and to the bottom of a pile, read again, shuffled around and then eventually lost in the mix.

Its amazing the daydreams I catch myself in too.

"Our file is on the desk matched with our son/daughter. Our PM is picking up the phone, dialing, and my phone is going to rinnnnnng......now! No, NOW!" ;)

M.

"I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end"

Margaret Thatcher

7 comments:

  1. I totally understand how you are feeling. Your time will come. The matching committee is not putting your file at the bottom of the pile. It's an emotional roller coaster and right now you are at the low point. Go sit in the nursery and visualize your baby to come. Have a good cry too. Believe me, you'll feel better. There are many nights I stare at our beautiful boy while he is sleeping and think back to exactly what you are going through. All I can say is the right baby will be matched with you at the right time. No sooner. No later. Just right. Trust me. If the above doesn't work, go shopping and buy something special for your wee one to come. Your turn is coming. It really is.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks M, You're so right. The timing will be perfect. We'll only know it when we're hit with it. You know, an iced coffee and a quick baby-to-be shop doesn't sound too shabby right now! Nice call!

    ReplyDelete
  3. My weeks been off too! Not sure what is going on..

    ReplyDelete
  4. I agree your time is coming and it will be perfect but no way around it - waiting SUCKS! I hope week 18 rocks for you guys. I love that M.T. quote - so perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Is today any better? Thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Haha! We were posting at the same time. Yes, thank you. So much better!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I know you are feeling better now... but you are so not alone in this feeling. I had totally reached my wit's end, was having a huge pity party, you name it. I finally came to peace with the wait, and the *next* day we got our call. Perfect! Hang in there... you're time is coming, and this is just part of the ride to get where you need to be!

    ReplyDelete